The guilt in me will never goes off. I initiate the plan, the plan started, i put my brother into trouble and suffering because of me. I was unable to fork out that sum of money, that was all my bad. Instead of suffering alone, I pulled my brothers into the picture and the situation is aggravating. I have no choice but to look ahead of what it takes. My brother cared for me and started with the planning because i can't fork out that large amount of money, instead, i put him into difficult positions. Now because of just a small problem, everyone seemed moodless. I know i cannot turn back time anymore, what i can do now is to stop thinking about it but i just can't. Bro, i have eyes to see what you have done for me this time round, i know you love me, i know you won't see me at wit's end, i know everything you have done for me. I'm grateful to you, really but i don't know when can i repay you back. Things might go even worst after today, if i had not started it, i guess we're all enjoying as a group drinking and chilling as a group at any thai disco. I changed the bond between everyone, i only have myself to blame. I really cannot sleep, even though i'm having mock maths test tomorrow. My brain is always circulating and the thought of the consequences haunted me. I really don't know what to do instead. Fuck it, i'm the destroyer :(
What i wish now is that she would not mind what i will be telling her tomorrow because i really don't wish to hide anything from her anymore, yea i'm a bad guy ,i know it . I'm a gangster with what people say as rotten apple. Yes, i agreed :(
I'm really hopeless, just because of my own benefits, everyone fell apart !
i sucks to the core :( To all brothers, i'm really sorry for what had happened, i cannot forgive myself
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